School Council Campaigners Gifts

Mastering political faces.

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

"If they add one more mandatory standardized test... we'll have to lengthen the school year!"

Congratulations on your PGCE.

"My parents appreciate teachers, but me, not so much."

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

Teacher's Workroom.

'There's a meeting at school tonight, Dad. The superintendent, the principal, the school board, and you.'

It was clear to Mrs. Bennis how the public school budget cuts were hurting students when she asked Danny for a math formula.

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'