School Election Gifts

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"You BARFED back in second grade! What other skeletons are there in your closet??"

Computer Room.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

I will study my speling words...

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"Away with the warmonger!"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Boy and girl at thier studies

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Political convention

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"Three more years of high school."

"Could I ask just one question?"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'I really crammed last night.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.