School Election Pillows

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"You BARFED back in second grade! What other skeletons are there in your closet??"

Computer Room.

They're Not Just That Into It

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

I will study my speling words...

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Boy and girl at thier studies

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Away with the warmonger!"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Political convention

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Three more years of high school."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Could I ask just one question?"