Schoolyard Campaigners Pillows

I'm running for student council president, so could you keep quiet about the time that I kissed you last year?

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

I rule by fear.

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'