Schoolhouse Sensibilities Gifts

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"He's gonna be bad for business."

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Though a sentiment not shared by his classmates, Harry had come to dread the periodical 'bathroom break'.

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

"What are you writing?"

Boys at Leisure

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

'There was a lot of excitement at school today — the Student Council voted itself a pay raise.'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"Baldo, are you translating for Marco?"

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

"Not a 'Stand-In,' Aaaron. I'm a 'Substitute teacher."

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

Billy Bunter - Greyfriar's School 2007.

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

"Today we're going to learn to deal with rejection."