Schoolhouse Sensibilities Gifts

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"He's gonna be bad for business."

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Though a sentiment not shared by his classmates, Harry had come to dread the periodical 'bathroom break'.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."

"What are you writing?"

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

Boys at Leisure

'There was a lot of excitement at school today — the Student Council voted itself a pay raise.'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"Baldo, are you translating for Marco?"

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

"Not a 'Stand-In,' Aaaron. I'm a 'Substitute teacher."

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

Billy Bunter - Greyfriar's School 2007.

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

"Today we're going to learn to deal with rejection."

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."