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"Is eight too young to retire from school?"

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Student goes through home room sees his home.

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

"Promoted to Grade 1. That's it? No swag?"

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school."

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

"Your son has an unctuous, grasping, power-hungry quality we find unattractive in a five-year-old."

"Who'd like to start today's show and tell?"

"Well, mom, what happens in kindergarten stays in kindergarten!"

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones, beepers and ipods.'

Life In Grade A.