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"Who'd like to start today's show and tell?"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"Finally...school starts next week."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Come in, minion."

Little Nell as comforter

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

Winnie the Pooh bungey jumping

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

Classroom.

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

Anthony Trollope

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

Freia and the apples of eternal youth

Charles Dickens

'Nowadays kiddo, we just need to herd the sheep, but my grandfather had to protect them from wolves!'

Alexander Pushkin