School Spoofster Gifts

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"