School Spoofster Gifts

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'