School Humor Seeker Gifts

'The kids made me this card for passing my OFSTED inspection.'

"Congratulations, Phillip. You've managed to score somehow lower than chance."

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

"You can't go out for playground monitor duty like that! Where's your mouthpiece?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."