School Resignation Gifts

'I don't have to worry about report cards any more. . .I just resigned.'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Thinks he's too cool for school.

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

'I was a taxi driver once but I resigned!' 'Why?' 'I hate people talking behind my back.'

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Best Scapegoat

"My God! There goes middle management."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'Coach, were you forced to resign? ...'

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'...and please remember, if I HAD a door, it would always be open for you.'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

Gladstone Steps Down as Liberal Leader

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

'I don't think I'm getting paid enough either, Osgood - Let's both quit!'

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

Nothing to Lose