Resignation Gifts

"I told him that I was leaving, that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork...he asked me to fill out an exit report!"

'I'm resigning due to fiscal mismanagement...so my last act as CEO is to give myself a big severance package.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Minutes from the last meeting: Hopkins said, damn it to hell, Thompson said, we've had it, Tomano said, The Lord help us all, Jensen said, I'm outta here!'

'I hope you haven't come to ask for a rise, Wilkins.'

'...and please remember, if I HAD a door, it would always be open for you.'

"It means taking a healthy pay cut, but my dad has decided to stay at home and lock himself in the basement."

'Does that mean you found a new job, Hirshenson?'

Gladstone Steps Down as Liberal Leader

'This week I'm going to do something great for the company.'

Skywriter parachutes out of plane after writing 'I QUIT'.

'Are you sure you want to quit?'

"I am therefore stepping down to spend more time with my family—but not with my wife, Tammy, who can be really annoying."

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'

'All right! All right! Parker. But you'll have to confirm your resignation in writing too.'

'I am resigning from the public sector so I can get nothing done in the private sector.'

'I was a taxi driver once but I resigned!' 'Why?' 'I hate people talking behind my back.'

Cleaning lady popping head round door of Tony Blair's office: 'Oh sorry! I thought you'd gone.'

"When I dropped that not off to your boss, telling him where he could stick his job, I finally got round to posting that winning coupon of yours."

The Clown

Throwing office equipment out of the window.

"I take it you're resigning, Smith"

'I want to give two weeks' notice that I'm quitting my job and two months' notice that I'm quitting my expense account.'

'I hear you're leaving us, Wilkins!'

Leaders...Leaders.

North Korean nuclear test strikes the Vatican.

Best Scapegoat

"Could you access your online dictionary for the definition of 'sayonara'?"

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"I'm handing in my notice."

"You can't fire me - I QUIT!"

Resignations/Applications

"Poor customer service is unacceptable, I take full responsibility and would like to tender my resignation."

"That's a truly fine gesture - putting up that sign for Trudeau - Mr. Poilievre!" "It's for Carney." "Goodbye, Prime Minister!"