Resignation Realist Gifts

"I quit."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

'I was a taxi driver once but I resigned!' 'Why?' 'I hate people talking behind my back.'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Best Scapegoat

Recession

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Coach, were you forced to resign? ...'

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

'...and please remember, if I HAD a door, it would always be open for you.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

Gladstone Steps Down as Liberal Leader

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'

Retirement Issues

Squeezing a tight budget...

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'