Realist Rebel Gifts

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Gallery Pranks

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

Recession

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

Stop Ironic Graffiti

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

US Dollar weakens.

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

Squeezing a tight budget...

"Goodbye cruel world."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."