Resignation Celebration Gifts

"Management were worried about our workloads, so they've reduced them...to zero!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"I am dressed for the job I want."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Old Karate Master

Help wanted. Various positions available.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Ace headhunters.

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'Miss Hartley, implement me a coffee and a cheese danish.'

Best Scapegoat

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

'I was a taxi driver once but I resigned!' 'Why?' 'I hate people talking behind my back.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Time to leave your comfort zone, Hoskins.'