School Meal Critic Gifts

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

'I'm NOT trying to break in and change my grades. I'm only trying to change the school lunch menu.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

Deli Special - 2 bean salad: 'We ran out of red beans.'

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

'As you requested, we trimmed the fat.'

"Ever since we started home schooling, I've developed more of an appreciation for school lunches."

"Don't forget... I packed your lunch for school..."

'I would probably do a lot better if you would just teach me stuff I already know.'

The Illusion of School Choice

Pink slime hot dogs.

"Mexican food?! This is America! I want pizza!"

'It was the menu in this pub that drove me to drink...'

"Bleah! I'd stick to football if I were you, Rashford"

"How long have we been married?"

"I won't miss Michelle Obama."