School Meals Gifts

"I won't miss Michelle Obama."

'Well of course the custard's lumpy...it's got garlic in it.'

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"You can't have dessert until you eat all of your people nuggies."

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'

"Ever since we started home schooling, I've developed more of an appreciation for school lunches."

"Don't forget... I packed your lunch for school..."

"So you're cool with Tia Carmen working here?"

"Bleah! I'd stick to football if I were you, Rashford"

"I love math! I love spelling! I love school lunches!"

Pink slime hot dogs.

'I always take my lunch on fish stick day.'

"What are you making, Norma?"

"I don't understand my mom! She packed me two lunches like I'm the world's biggest eater!"

"Did your mom commandeer your lunch account again?"

"Don't tell him, but the fries are made of soy too!"

'I need an antacid. I'm having lunch in the school cafeteria today.'

'No, It's not last years leftovers.'

'Is the scab-e-matter custard and green snot pie organic?'

'And now a moment of silence so that we may never forget the tragic events of March 31st. . . when we ran out of napkins on sloppy Joe Day.'

"Baldo? You left green beans on your plate!"

School Cafeteria. I'm beginning to understand why the first-graders eat paste. (Published originally on Jan. 11, 1995.)

"You know, everybody says cafeteria food is good for nothing...but I disagree."