Kids Meals Gifts

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Chez Nous Menu

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Philosopher trading cards.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Summer reading for the family.

The dark side of Halloween.

Ice Cream Tower.

Onion Tears

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

"Your animal companionship is here!"

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."