Kids Meals Pillows

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Ice Cream Tower.

Summer reading for the family.

The dark side of Halloween.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"It seemed like a long timeout."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

"Your animal companionship is here!"