School Excuse Collector Gifts

'Dad, is it true that before we had hard drive crashes, the dog used to eat your homework?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

Homework flavored dog food

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

We're barely gonna make it!

'And its got this cool app on the end that lets you delete entries.'

"Harrison, you fail to comprehend the meaning of cursive writing."

"Good luck on your first day of school! Remember to only take your mask off to eat!"

"I dictated my essay to my parrot. Unfortunately, my cat then ate my homework."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

You kids are lucky. The first day back to school is full of promise! West Fester. I say it's just full!

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'A computer virus ate my homework.'

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

'The dog ate my gnome-work.'

"Hey look! It's my old, school uniform"

'Before you look at that, you should know I found an old report card of yours in the attic.'

I WILL NOT COMMENT ON MS. STEMPEL'S WART

'He's OK now, but don't let him eat anymore homework.'

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

"We can't pass him now ... he has tenure."

Reasons to avoid training no.236 - A leaf on the path.

Teacher to parent: 'He's been transferred from Detention to a Minimum Security Facility.'

'The dog kinda ate my homework. He deleted it off my hard drive.'

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

'That's right, my dog DID eat my homework.'

Obedience School - 'My master ate my homework.'

Parents preparing for the new school year.

'Is it my fault they didn't send me to obedience school?'