Excuse Collector Gifts

'Why'd we deny your claim? I'll have to check our records.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'My dog ate my computer.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

My daddy ate my homework

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

A boy and his spin patrol.

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."