Excuse Collector Pillows

'Why'd we deny your claim? I'll have to check our records.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'My dog ate my computer.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

My daddy ate my homework

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

Will eat your homework for $.

Hunting Skool. What about your project, Oogie? The dot ate my homework.

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

A boy and his spin patrol.

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'