Homework Excuse Collector Pillows

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'The dog ate my gnome-work.'

"I dictated my essay to my parrot. Unfortunately, my cat then ate my homework."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"My teaching skills have improved because their dogs are eating less homework."

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

'Dad, is it true that before we had hard drive crashes, the dog used to eat your homework?'

'What about you, Billy? Did some deranged animal burst in during recess and devour your homework too?'

'No, you tell the kids they better do their homework, or else. They always think I'm bluffing.'

"Dad, can you double-check my homework."

'We're worried about you. Your teacher called and said you're actually handing in your homework instead of eating it.'

'It's worse than that -- my little brother ate my homework.'

'He's OK now, but don't let him eat anymore homework.'

"How are we supposed to eat homework when it's all digital?"

'Dad, can I play video games now and help you help me with my homework later?'

"Here's the deal, you do my homework and I'll tell you how to program your phone?"

'The dog kinda ate my homework. He deleted it off my hard drive.'

Obedience School - 'My master ate my homework.'

'First things first - you finish my homework, then I go out to the pictures.'

"My mother ate math homework while she was pregnant with me."

'Write an essay on what I did last summer? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?'

"My dog ate my homework."

'My homework is escaping.'

'You say your homework was burned up by global warming? Nice try, Timmy.'

'Did I write that myself? You're not wearing a wire are you?'

'That's right, my dog DID eat my homework.'

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

'I had my homework all finished, and members of a vast right-wing conspiracy broke into the house and took it.'

'I'm not allowed to have a dog, so I have to eat my own homework.'

'Why'd we deny your claim? I'll have to check our records.'

Dog Obedience School: 'I ate my homework.'

'Sorry, they don't eat homework.'