Excuse Author Gifts

'Dear Santa, I can explain...'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'A dog ate my homework.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'My dog ate my computer.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

My daddy ate my homework

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Will eat your homework for $.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

Hunting Skool. What about your project, Oogie? The dot ate my homework.

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

"A homeless person ate my homework."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."