Funny Excuse Collector Gifts

Obedience School - 'My master ate my homework.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

Bell Hop

"I've been window-shopping..."

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"I dictated my essay to my parrot. Unfortunately, my cat then ate my homework."

A frog catches an insect truck.

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Dad, is it true that before we had hard drive crashes, the dog used to eat your homework?'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'The dog ate my gnome-work.'

"If it's still following me around at noon, you'll bet I'll eat it."

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

'The following video contains scenes of swearing and violence' - Family holiday

The dog that does the homework...

"Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm busy organising my widgets."

Under new management. But still no bananas.

"I don't do well on standardized testing. I blame it on standardized tests."

"Sure, the cow jumped over the moon, and he also burned up on re-entry."

"Should we agree on a safe word?"

'I'm not late. I didn't want to come in at all.'

Dear diary, Today I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Well, not really. I just said that to get your attention. But I did knock a spider into the bathtub just to watch him drown.

Genetics Lab. As a precaution, the genetic modification in this corn aren't passed on to successive generations. In one ear and out the other!

'I'm not allowed to have a dog, so I have to eat my own homework.'

'Why'd we deny your claim? I'll have to check our records.'

"For me, homework is more of a journey than a destination."