School Excuse Aficionado Gifts

'A computer virus ate my homework.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"He's gonna be bad for business."

High School

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

Classroom.

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'I didn't come to work yesterday because Tuesday is the new Monday.'

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

'I've eaten so much homework that I'm starting to age in paper years.'

"I did my homework, but my little brother took it to his 'show and tell'."

"No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline."

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'