School Event Avoider Pillows

"Dylan needs a classroom where I don't have to talk to any of the other mothers."

Sloaney Pony.

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Serious Putty

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

I am your BIGGEST fan!

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Nervous at a party.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"You've got to blurb me to her."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

'Is he expecting you?'

"Any apologies for absence?"

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."