Business Event Avoider Pillows

"I know you always look forward to these business events."

Sloaney Pony.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Trade Show Sherpas

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

'I'll take it!'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"We've come so far together...wouldn't it be great if they had frequent achiever miles?"

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'I'm terribly sorry, I don't have any time now. Please call my secretary to make an appointment.'

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Nervous at a party.

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"You've got to blurb me to her."

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

Do' you have the time?'

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

'Haven't you heard? We're not going to discuss the company picnic - this is the company picnic.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

'Is he expecting you?'

4th of July and PTSD

"Any apologies for absence?"

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'