School Event Avoider Mugs

"Dylan needs a classroom where I don't have to talk to any of the other mothers."

Sloaney Pony.

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

Serious Putty

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

Nervous at a party.

"You've got to blurb me to her."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

'Is he expecting you?'

"Any apologies for absence?"

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'