Attending A Child's School Event Mugs

"Wasn't that your dad with the video camera, the tripod, the battery pack, the extension cord, the..."

Sloaney Pony.

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Paul goes home for the holidays

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

All dressed up and no place to go

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

King of Music.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'Oh, Christ.'

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

Giant cat at school open night.

What?! No way are we pushing for a green prom. Eco-club. Do we have to take the fun out of everything? People will totally embrace it if we frame it in the right way. Like? Saving energy by turning the lights down really low! Or using fewer chaperones. I can deal!

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"Any apologies for absence?"

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."