School Dawdler Gifts

'How come time fast-forwards through summer, and slow-mos through school?'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Cock A Doodle

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Girls in bed

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

Your hands are cold...

"No, you're not getting too old for school."

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"This is crazy! Why can't they give us one e-reader with all our school textbooks already on it? That way...I can ignore just one book instead of this whole stack!"

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

'Remember sweetheart, act natural.'

"The plan was to work out today, but now the toaster is taking so long that I think it'll have to wait until tomorrow."

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'Next semester, we're having art time after lunch.'

'I know it's your first day, Ms. Smith. Come down, the high standards we set will all fall into place, besides they're just kindergartners.'

'Oh, heavens no. I was merely speaking figuratively when I said that I wanted to break every bone in his body.'

"How long do you think I could get detention for doing this?"

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

Gee, dad, a D in French isn't so bad considering I'm flunking English!

"She's a much better guesser than I am...but I am just guessing."

"In addition to opting out of state testing, I've added an addendum, to my mom's note that allows me to opt out of Science, Phy Ed and anything resembling homework."

Man funneling the wide spray from his shower