Digital Dawdler Gifts

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Cellphone Islands

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Spooning

"Streaming"

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

Information Tightrope.

"Error 404: Brain not found"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'It's too late! Bob's brain has been sucked out by the internet!'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Mom, what's the password to access dad?"

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

'It's the only way to keep him from spending all day online.'

The End of the Worker Bees

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"Can you play with him for a while? His battery died."

'Internet' 'Internot'

"Yeah, my mum made me come outside to play as well."

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

The Screeeen!

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

"It's amazing. Nobody's changed."

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."