Chronic Dawdler Gifts

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

My first mistake.

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

Girls in bed

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

Your hands are cold...

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

'Oh no! Here comes our insurance guy! He's 3 minutes early for our appointment.'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

The reassurer: the magazine for chronic worriers

"The plan was to work out today, but now the toaster is taking so long that I think it'll have to wait until tomorrow."

"The only thing I've learned from my mistakes is that apparently I'll keep making them."

"Do cows grunt?.... I must have milked a pig then."

'How come time fast-forwards through summer, and slow-mos through school?'

Despite their best efforts Hell's scientists were never able to break the scorn barrier,

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Man funneling the wide spray from his shower

DANGER - hook and worm...!

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

Paranoids' Anonymous