Chronic Worrier Gifts

Insomnia Jeopardy

The reassurer: the magazine for chronic worriers

Paranoids' Anonymous

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

"The usual sick notes..."

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

A Hole in the Dike

I.T. Fear

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

Separation Anxiety

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"Don't be afraid if you see a Martian. There's no such thing."

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

'Oh no! Here comes our insurance guy! He's 3 minutes early for our appointment.'

"Well, we've done it, Sandy . . . we hit the 'cold snap tri-fecta:'. . ."

Golden handshake old redundancy port.

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

Full Harvest Moon

"We got you a computer for your Birthday, grandpa."

'Someday, son, all this will be divided among your ex-wives.'

"Trust me: It's benign."

'I'm worried about job security and I don't even have a job yet!'

Do you have any pull with the IRS?