Chronic Worriers Gifts

'Oh no! Here comes our insurance guy! He's 3 minutes early for our appointment.'

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

A Hole in the Dike

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

Separation Anxiety

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

Expensive health care

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn't called me back. Do you think she still likes me?! Ahh! Now it's an hour and one minute! Love is a beautiful thing.

'I'm sorry to tell that your husband's coverage has expired.'

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"Where does it hurt?"

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

JB doesn't like to see anybody that's stressful.

'I was hoping it didn't involve those thin white gloves.'

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."