Desk Job Dawdler Gifts

Your hands are cold...

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

Commutobile

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Scapegoat of the Year

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

Finger on the Z Key

Inkwell Genie.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Whack, Out of Whack.

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

"He said his screen is frozen again."

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

"The first of many cubicles..."

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"