Desk Job Dawdler Pillows

Your hands are cold...

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Commutobile

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Scapegoat of the Year

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Whack, Out of Whack.

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

Inkwell Genie.

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"The first of many cubicles..."

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"