Desk Job Employee Pillows

'My computer is very slow to start up today. Do you think it's because my old operating system is no longer supported by the manufacturer?'

"Something was definitely lost when we went from being hunter-gathers to browser-purchasers."

"Since the boss hung up this sign the office sound level has dropped by 87%."

'Sleeping at my desk? Uh, no, I was just buffering.'

"What podcasts should I download to help me stay complacent and tethered to a job I hate?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Here's your lunch, Tomkins.'

People at work on social networks fail to communicate socially with each other.

'To brainwash him wouldn't take much water...'

'Someone stole my chair.'

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

"I would prefer summer mondays because the beaches are less crowded."

'Remember, Preston, all work and no play make you employed.'

"The first of many cubicles..."

"Same old, same old. Knocking things off my desk, walking across the keyboard..."

"He's having lunch at his desk, like he does every time he packs a juice box."

"...and you'll need GPS on your phone to enable you to find your cubicle."

Fast Foods: In and Out Tray

"This should get me through the next hour."

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Working 9 to 5.

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'