Desk Dabbler Pillows

A knitter's in and out boxes

Multi-tasking.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Socially distanced sledding

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'Why do you need an alarm clock'

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

'What was the question?'

"When I evolve I'm going to be an elephant."

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

"Yeah, the internet's full of information, but after a day broadening my superficial knowledge of casual interests, who has time to think?

Riddle behind the mask

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

Lost Property Trust - For the careless investor.

'When it comes to investing, I'm not bullish or bearish... I'm chickenish.'

Visual Gag Cardigans Cars wearing Cardigans made for Cars

Stock Market - Ok, you've convinced me - give me one more share.

I accidently deleted my hard drive, but it's okay. All the important stuff is on the refrigerator anyway.

"Unfortunately polishing my mouse isn't as relaxing sharpening my pencils."

"We know them socially - not politically."