School Comedy Curator Gifts

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

A Snowman using a Pooper-Scooper to pick up his Dog's ice cube Doo Doo

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'