School Choice Humorist Gifts

Miniature Village Minor Public School

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"