School Admissions Season Gifts

"I sometimes wonder if these kids really live in the catchment area"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

Snacks for Learners

End of Affirmative Action

"Our focus here is on the arts. Is he pottery trained?"

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

Waiting for the results.

Contest to enter the University

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

"Not the 'Princeton Experience' he was expecting."

Universidad

Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Boho Bribes

Night Owl