School Admission Enthusiast Gifts

Boho Bribes

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Bribes for Jabs

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"He's gonna be bad for business."

High School

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.

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