Scholarly Spirit Gifts

"I'm afraid I'm a work in progress - 2 grades forward and 1 grade back."

Back to school.

The only way to see the world is to see the world

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

Nervous Student

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

"She's always been a quick learner."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

Academics at the Beach

Obama in schools.

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

Medical Student

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

My teacher says I ask too many questions.

"Teaching gets easier the further you get from the class room."

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

Kid Reads "The Little Tibetan Book Of The Dead"

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

Divinity School - Authorized Parsons Only

Start of the school year

You conservative dunce! You socialist ignoramus. Blue. Debate club. Red. Dittohead! Liberal fruitcake! Time's up! The winner of this school's tv talk show style debate is team red! Is that a cell phone? No. Decibel meter. Ungha! Ungha!! Ungh!!!

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.