Science Spirit Gifts

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

Nervous Student

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

'If the voice of Nature should say ‘Yo!', it behooveth the Yoee to listen up.'

Obama in schools.

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

Broken ankle.

My teacher says I ask too many questions.

Laboratories - Contaminate Biologicals/Hazardous Material/Radioactive Waste/Mutant Organisms.

You conservative dunce! You socialist ignoramus. Blue. Debate club. Red. Dittohead! Liberal fruitcake! Time's up! The winner of this school's tv talk show style debate is team red! Is that a cell phone? No. Decibel meter. Ungha! Ungha!! Ungh!!!

"Teaching gets easier the further you get from the class room."

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.

'It's spring - so jump about a bit!'

H. J. Eysenck

'Aahh yes, that's the spot!'

Mermaid and music

"I'm taking me voucher and going to circus school."

"That's my son."

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

'Be carfeul! This is a tough school. The debating team has a criminal defence attorney to do the talking for them.'

'Do you kids know the story of 'The Big Mongoose'?!'

First day of school.

"I'm afraid I'm a work in progress - 2 grades forward and 1 grade back."

'He was bused in from another district.'

'...well Martha's just converting some alcohol to acetaldehyde and then to acetate, and then to CO2 and water but I can get her to call you later...'

"Prosecco-ho-ho?"

"Unfinished business used to mean going back as a ghost. Now, thanks to the Web, you can work from here."

'That guy thinks like a fish.'