Schedule Optimizer Gifts

"Why, you're right. Tonight isn't reading night, tonight is sex night."

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

'First I've got to get a dorsal wax, go to the dry cleaners, then head to my 2 p.m. pilates class...'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

God's Sticky Notes

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Am I the first one here?'

Time Clock

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'If that's my wife, pencil her in for Boxing Day.'

If I can have your attention, gentlemen- we have a heavy schedule.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"When you have my schedule, you need large sticky notes."

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'When would work for you?'