Agenda Optimizer Gifts

"So what's on the agenda today? Let's see--nap, then count my spots, then nap again, then chase my tale, nap yet again, then beg for good, nap, scratch at the door, finally come in and find a spot to go to sleep. Just not enough time in the day."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

Danger Slow Sand.

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

"Okay, if that's all the finger pointing we have today, we can move on!"

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"If there's no further old business, we'll move along to new business."

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

"The subject of this never ending meeting was how to keep meetings short..."

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"I'm afraid he's involved right now. If you could give me an outline of what ground you're covering I might be able to pencil you in."