Scale Switcher Gifts

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

Secretive Weigh In.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Critisize your weight.

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fat man on scales.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Scales

"Scale" is a versatile word. We can scale rocks. Fish have scales. I love to catch and eat fish. There are music scales. We all enjoy music. Don't forget the bathroom scale. Sadly, when I step on one of those I'm reminded of the Richter Scale numbers recorded when I'm walking.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Woman and sport trainer

"Well, it's like they say; 230 is the new 180."

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

Using balloons to weigh less.

'You need to go on a diet. Your spare tyres are getting spare tyres!'

"Relax dear. You haven't 'put on a ridiculous amount of weight'. You've just forgotten to take off your armour."

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

'Dad! - Mum's cheating again!'