Scale Switcher Pillows

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Scales

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Fat man on scales.

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Woman and sport trainer

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

'You need to go on a diet. Your spare tyres are getting spare tyres!'

"Relax dear. You haven't 'put on a ridiculous amount of weight'. You've just forgotten to take off your armour."

Using balloons to weigh less.

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

'Dad! - Mum's cheating again!'

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

"Yup, that pound cake did weigh a pound."