Scale Slider Gifts

I want you to assess your own abilities on a scale of one to ten, - 'Okay,' - 'Intelligence,' - 'Five,' - 'Confidence' - 'Five,' - 'Social Skills' - 'Five,' - 'Why do you think you've rated them all as five' - 'I forgot to ask if ten was good or bad,'

Career opportunities

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Scales

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Fat man on scales.

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Woman and sport trainer

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

'. . .So that's two brandies, one Gin and Tonic and two rums!'

Skiers rolling down slope in snow

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

In a shrewd business move, Hell enters the family amusement park industry.

Using balloons to weigh less.

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

"It's a dog eat dog world, Finkstrom."