Scale Slider T-Shirts

I want you to assess your own abilities on a scale of one to ten, - 'Okay,' - 'Intelligence,' - 'Five,' - 'Confidence' - 'Five,' - 'Social Skills' - 'Five,' - 'Why do you think you've rated them all as five' - 'I forgot to ask if ten was good or bad,'

Career opportunities

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Scales

Fat man on scales.

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'I said, 'Left after the bunny slope! Left!'.'

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Woman and sport trainer

Watch out For Falling Skiers.

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

Skiers rolling down slope in snow

'. . .So that's two brandies, one Gin and Tonic and two rums!'

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

In a shrewd business move, Hell enters the family amusement park industry.

Using balloons to weigh less.

"It's a dog eat dog world, Finkstrom."